Thursday, February 24, 2011

Why I Haven't Written Lately

I’ve said a lot of things when people have asked. I'm not ready right now... I'm just taking some time... But honestly, the real reason is just that I’m afraid.

  1. I’m afraid that my writing a blog is selfish, and that you will see more of me than Christ, and that the 'me' you will see is ugly. I'm afraid I'll waste your time. (That’s kind of the big one.)
  2. I’m afraid that my life is not eventful enough, and that I don’t have enough vision, plan, or motivation to be at all consistent. Or interesting. Or helpful. (This is also pretty huge.)
  3. I’m afraid that I want to do this for all the wrong reasons.
  4. I’m afraid that I might not really want to do this at all.
  5. I’m afraid of being vulnerable, and afraid that the line between vulnerability and selfish exhibition is too blurry.
I think that’s all. Oh, and one more: I’m afraid that all of the things I’ve listed as problems are true about this post as well.

But God is doing big things in my life, filling it with his gifts. And I want to share them, to be vulnerable, and to feel myself more a part of the sweet community of God’s family. So I’m going to be brave, admit I don’t have all the answers, and post this (and hopefully more) anyway.

Have you every asked yourself these questions? How do you deal with these kinds of fears?


  1. I have had a lot of these questions, too. I've thought about getting rid of my blog so many times. But in the end I've decided that I'm writing it for me. (Is that selfish?) It's a place for me to share what I'm learning, feeling, doing. I always joke that I have 5 readers and no commenters. That's been something I've had to get over. I'm not doing it for that stuff, but because I need an outlet sometimes. Not much help, huh? :) Do what you need to do. I don't think that's selfish at all. And if your goal is to glorify God in your life, that will come out in your blog.
    There's my 2 cents. :)

  2. Thank you for being real, Emily! If you're truly searching after God, and it sounds like you are, then sharing your heart and struggles along the way can be an encouragement to your fellow pilgrims who struggle with the exact same things. I would love to hear what you're learning.

  3. I've missed you in blogland Emily! I love reading your sweet words.

    I have been there. Sometimes I write about really boring things too. And when I do write about God, I've lost followers. I think it is kind of funny actually. I'm never going to not be myself. I will write about God whenever I want, because that is who I am. I especially like to write about the little happinesses I see in life that I know are from Him!

    I hope you keep blogging lady! Your words are always so encouraging!